Frequently asked questions

Why do I need CoupleWise when I can just talk directly to my spouse or partner and tell them that something is bothering me?

First, CoupleWise is not a substitute for direct face-to-face communication; but, CoupleWise will help make your face-face interactions more frequent, deeper, and more productive.

Secondly, everyone says they will speak honestly and openly to one another about anything and everything when they begin dating, or get married, or become otherwise committed to each other. However, we have a high divorce and separation rate (over 43%!) in great part because these commitments fade with time and people wind up keeping secrets and stop being completely open and honest with each other.

What do I do if my partner is not motivated to work on our relationship?

CoupleWise is designed to appeal to your unmotivated partner’s self-interest by providing tips and encouragement from top marriage therapists and psychologists, as well as suggestions from other CoupleWise couples who have faced the same problem.

What is the research basis for CoupleWise?

CoupleWise is based on the research of Dr.’s Charles and Elizabeth Schmitz. They looked at predictors of both divorce and long-lasting happiness in more than 16,000 marriages and committed relationships.

We have taken the research in this area—specifically the divorce predictors and happy marriage predictors – and translated it into specific unmet needs. CoupleWise then helps the couple to get a very clear picture of where they stand satisfaction-wise in terms of these needs, and then, based on their individual and couple profile, we apply the best practices of cognitive behavioral therapy to get their most important needs met first.

Is my information confidential and totally secure?

Absolutely. Your information is strictly confidential and will NEVER be shown to anyone other than you. No one other than your partner can see your information, and even your partner cannot see it without your explicit permission. We take your privacy very seriously. Please see our Privacy Policy if you have any further questions.

So how do you know if this will work?

More than 90% of the couples who have tried CoupleWise have had a positive experience and told us it helped.

Can I use CoupleWise with a therapist or coach?

We hope you do! When you use CoupleWise with your therapist, it can…

  1. …help you prepare the groundwork that will be required in therapy. CoupleWise will lay the foundation for deeper, more meaningful discussions the first time you see your therapist or coach.
  2. …provide a very quick and clear understanding of what each partner really needs, and if those needs are being met or not in a healthy, satisfactory way.
  3. …help the couple maintain and strengthen whatever gains they make during therapy, as well as prevent the couple from falling back into unhealthy ways of dealing with each other.

How long will it take to set up our CoupleWise accounts?

Creating a login will only take about 5 minutes. The full setup will probably take each of you anywhere from 30-45 minutes or longer, depending how thorough you wish to be. The good news is that the process itself will likely be quite valuable to your relationship since you and your partner will start clarifying some issues right away.

Should we try to go through the account set up together or separately?

You can do it together if you each have your own computer, or you can do it separately, it’s up to you. If one of you is much more tech-savvy, they could go through the setup first so they will be able to help the other.

Once you have both completed the process, CoupleWise will work better if partners use separate computers or have separate accounts on the same computer.

How do we link up with each other?

After one of you finishes the sign-up process, CoupleWise will email your partner. Once they complete the sign-up instructions, your accounts will be linked.

What if we both end up setting up our accounts separately?

Either partner can log in and link the accounts (assuming both accounts are completely setup). Here’s what you do:

  1. Log into
  2. Hover over the top-right menu where your name appears and click "Connect to a partner" (don’t see it? Then your accounts are already linked!).
  3. Enter your partner's email address.
  4. Click the “Send Invitation” button.

It's that simple! An email will go out to your partner with the link automatically.

My partner says that we shouldn’t have to work so hard on our relationship. What do you say about that?

Love is like a muscle: if you don’t exercise it, it gets weak. Any committed relationship takes work. That being said, we want to make working on your relationship feel fun, safe, and trustworthy, so you can get back to honoring and celebrating your relationship!

Problems?   Suggestions?

CoupleWise is an early stage release project. As such, there are bound to be some glitches. If you are experiencing any trouble using the site or if you have any suggestions for us, just click the Problems? Suggestions? tab on the right-hand side of the page.